Monday, September 29, 2008

Dow down 6%


Today's news that the federal bailout package didn't pass the House is good for America.

Let's hope they don't fuck it up by passing it.

This whole mess isn't about regulation. It's about people doing their fucking jobs. The problems that we have today are not something that needs more government involvement. And while the pundits, politicians, and poseurs well...pose, let's look at some of the things that Supersized this shit sandwich.

1) Fannie and Freddie strayed from their core purpose and got into some stupid shit because they thought they were smarter than everyone else.

This was a whole lot of *wink* wink* "we're backed by the US Government so while we can't say that your investments with us are 100% safe" and they strayed from their purpose of providing loans to people who otherwise couldn't get them into a roulette wheel of mortgage backed investment vehicles.

2) Wall Street. You guys are the financial wizards who are able to create shit out of thin air and hide it away on books in the Cayman Islands in things called Special Purpose Vehicles that have no value because nobody will look at those books and you don't put them on your balance sheets. Fantastic, so you are trading shit with no metric based value and patting each other on the ass when it goes well, and then start crying when things go south.

3) The SEC. Acording to the SEC regs, the Wall Street Alchohlics could only leverage about 12-1 (which when you think about it, is insane in itself. They could have $1,000 and then place bets of over $12,000), but over the span of this whole debacle, were leveraging up to 40-1. You want to place a heap load of blame on this whole thing? Look at Cox at the SEC for not doing their jobs. This is why we don't need more regulation, but people doing their god damned cushy jobs. Had the SEC done what they were supposed to do, the damage now would have been much less sevear and we wouldn't have had the bank failures and brokerage house failures we do now. I pine for the days of trarring and feathering. Pine.

4) The Ratings agencies. You guys suck too. How can AAA securities go from the holiest of holies to the tangible value of my AAA Road Assistance card in 2 years...oh, sorry, I forgot, you get PAID to make ratings of securites. It's like being a restraunt critic who is paid my the restraunt. Douches.

5) Joe Six-Pack McMansion. Yes, you have the house of your dreams. For now. What?! Home values only go up? And this is why you got to live in a house that costs more than you will ever make in your lifetime. The only way that that liars loan you got whould have been any better would have been for the mortgage broker to have given you some oral while you were at the office. And if you think that something is too good to be true, but do it anyway, then you should have Idiot tatooed on your forheard. But don't dispair. There are a lot of other like you. You can start your own Facebook club. And when you claim Idiot as an illness, you'll be able to get disabilty checks mailed to you at your McMansion.

6) Congress...if I have to count in how many ways you suck, I would need to invent a new number system. The Youtube is being passed around so you probably have already seen it. Seriously...can anyone name me the last thing that congress had done that has really benefitted the American people? Like, ever? Ever, ever? Getting Congress involved in anything is about as smart as letting your parents make decisions on what kind of sex life you will have with your girlfriend.

So, why do I think this drop in the Dow is good? Because things need to reach an equilibrium and the only way to do that is to let the markets drop to the point where we can rebuild. And all this bailout does is keep prices artificially high and prolongs that shit taste in our mouths. We could be past all of this in a year or two, or we can go all Japanese style and need a 10 year recovery.

And for you Wall Street bitches...don't cry for me Argentina. You were perfectly happy when Goldy was paying out over $20 billion in bonuses a couple of years ago. Passing this bailout is only going to give the crying Alcoholics another bottle of whisky....until they start crying again.

Full Disclosure: I have a minimal part of my portfolio in US securities and 80% of my money is in European currencies. I am not currently trading and I will make no trades in the next 90 days.

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