Thursday, May 19, 2005

A Tip for International Travel

When traveling internationally, I find that following the simple plan to be most effective:

1) If flying to Europe from the States, you will most likely leave in the evening and arrive in the morning. As soon as the plane takes off, start drinking....heavily. After about 4 or five whiskeys, combined with the altitude and the meal, you should feel nappy time sneaking upon you quickly. Give into the dark side and go to sleep. When you wake up, you will be in Europe with nothing but a slight hangover and a bit of dry spittle on your chin. At this point, treat it like another other Tuesday and start drinking coffee and proceed throughout your day. That night, booze it up again, and when you wake up, you should be all set on local time.

2) If flying to South America, you will probably have a day flight and will arrive some time in the evening. As soon as you land and drop your bags off at wherever you are staying, go out drinking...heavily. You will most likely be tired from your flight, so have a couple of drinks and force yourself to stay up until your normal bed time back in the states, only do it to the local time. When you wake up, you will have a small hangover, and possibly a Bolivian prostitute in your bed. Pay her, send her on her way, and the start your day like you do every other day, lots of coffee.

So there you go! Everything you ever need to fight jet lag.

*This has been a public service announcement from the proprietors of Gilly's World.*

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